Favorites

 
When getting to know people it’s a common tactic to ask what favorites are. A majority of the time this doesn’t sit well with me. I just struggle to answer. I’ve been throwing the idea around and want work out some possible reasons. At some point I bet you'll be thinking I'm over analyzing this far too much (which is something I regularly get ragged on for by those closest to me). I know that when I'm asked what my favorite band or artist is people are not usually thinking all that I'll be dissecting and I won't say that I am all the time but it's not rare either. Even if we don't blatantly think about it, it's there.

At first, I thought maybe it was a mix of two things: insecurity and indecisiveness. I'm generally independent. I even prefer to go against the grain most of the time. There are times though that I know what I like most but because I fear that thing being discredited I decided not to share. Now THAT annoys me and I could easily dig into what that says about me and my struggles for awhile. I acknowledge that people's opinion shouldn't define not only how I feel about something but also the matter at hand in general. It's only one humble person's opinion. But it's interesting how in the moment that person's opinion can mean quite a bit, even if you don't know them well. The second part: indecisiveness. I simply can't choose. This can be because I know a lot or am passionate about the category so it's just too hard to pick one. On the other hand, I feel at times that I don't know enough about the subject to make a decision (these two things can even happen at the same time). For instance, music... like many, I love music and am passionate about it but there's so many kinds that I like and each kind may fit a certain situation or mood. You can't compare those things. There's also so much more to learn! There's so much music I haven't discovered or acquired a taste for yet that could be the next possible favorite.

While my first thought process of why favorites bother me is still true, I think what bothers me most is the desire people have to label and quickly judge whether they will get along with you or not based on favorites (and other inferences). Having things in common is important for relationships but surely we can train ourselves to appreciate and even admire the differences rather than let them be off putting. We try to size up personalities as quickly as possible and place people in categories so we can figure them out and know what to expect. I do it to, I'm not a girly girl and when I meet some chick that tells me her favorite color is pink I fight the desire to turn up my nose. I'm not as petty as to walk away right then of course but I've already started to build a theory on who this person is and what direction our encounter is headed in. Knowing that people tend to do that, I don't want to be pinned down so easily. I want you to have to spend time with me and invest before you get have me partially figured out. I also want to be free to change my mind. People love to grab on to favorites and hold you to them. They figure out what you like and then have a tendency to go numb to your change and growth. This happens in small and big ways. They repeatedly talk to you about an album you once listened to constantly years ago but now have burnt yourself out on. They figure out your favorite color and buy you things in only that color. For a more serious example, at times it is for me to go back to my hometown because people hold me to the person I was growing up and in high school. I've grown and changed so much since then and for the better! But when you are surrounded by those expectations it's hard to not subconsciously fulfill them.

There's a temptation to put our identity into favorites. Who are we and what are we about? While I treasure the creativity and variety of personalities along with our likes and dislikes... we need to be weary of letting those things define us. These material favorites should not be idols. There's something so much more glorious in life to be all about than style, a certain persona, sports, career, recreation or even music. We also shouldn't be so lifeless as to let others decide what we like, don't be a backless chameleon. Be honest with yourself and find what you enjoy.

In order to stretch myself, I'm going to list some favorites. 

Color: Green

Season: Fall

Classic art: The Rape of Proserpina by Bernini and Lacoon & His Sons by nobody knows

Sport: Rock climbing

Fruit: Blueberries

Physical feature of myself: My curly hair

Herb: Basil

Book of the Bible: Ephesians

Book series: Harry Potter

Person: Jesus