30 by 30

I think the most important thing I’ve continued to realize this semester is how much I have to learn. I’ve also gotten a new perspective on my pride and how I need to fix it. Reading through the Gospels and being reminded of how perfect Jesus is also opens my eyes to the fact that no one is good, not even one. I am no better than anyone else. I think this is something that is especially hard for us who have grown up in a materialistic culture to deal with because the culture is “all about me” focused.
At first I thought it was silly to say I was finding myself. I felt like that was such a teenager stage to be in. It has really become evident to me this semester that we are definitely working on finding ourselves, all of us. College students are known for having outlandish dreams. I love it. Everywhere I go on campus I hear people talking about big ideas and goals they have in life.
The sad thing is, a lot of our elders say it’s just a phase. I can’t count how many times I’ve talked about some big dream I have and gotten some crazy a look from someone older than myself. So what is possible and a reality… and what is just a phase I’m going through? What will I choose to chase after and make a reality? And most importantly, will it be for the Lord?

In this all about me culture, it also affects our goals. I recently started a 30 by 30 list (30 things to do by the time I am 30 years old). The first thing that went on it was to rock climb “The Nose” on El Cap in Yosemite. The Nose is a 2,400 ft climb that takes an average of 4 days (2 nights sleeping on the side of cliff) and lots of experience. The next thought that ran through my head was this, “Do I want to achieve this for me? Or is it for Lord?” If my motives are just so I can say I did it, I am doing it for the wrong reasons. If I want to tackle this feat so that I can impact people along the way and become closer to Jesus through the journey, then let’s start buying gear. Everything I do in life should be for El Shaddai. I should be pouring Him into my relationships on earth and loving on people as He works through me. I am ready to dream big and allow the Lord to penetrate every part of it.

Learning to be Joyful

In a place like America we have so much stuff. Material things flood our daily lives and are on our minds. We've made this mistake of trying to be joyful with what we see have in this earthly kingdom. Nothing will truly bring us joy and celebration but the Lord and I know it sounds a bit odd... but obedience to him will bring us abundant reason to celebrate!

Depression is the epidemic here. And I can't help but think that it is because we are selfish and/or trying to fill our voids with education, earthly relationships, sports, and material possessions. We say we're christians... but then act like the world. We even view celebration in the same light at times. "The carefree spirit of joyous festivity is absent in contemporary society. Apathy, even melancholy, dominates the times."

"Joy is found in obedience." I thought it sounded odd when I first heard it too. I've been reading Celebrations of Discipline for my Bible class and the last chapter/discipline is celebration and it mentions this idea of joy and reason for celebration being found in obedience. While it didn't make sense to me at first, it's starting to now. If we would listen and obey the Lord and his will for our lives, we will have overflowing joy. His will is perfect and by obeying him we will be blessed and have reason for life.

"Often we try to pump up people with joy when in reality nothing has happened in their lives. God has not broken into the routine experiences of their daily existence. Celebration comes when the common ventures of life are redeemed."


I have quite a few friends right now who are unmotivated, depressed, and searching for joy. I'm struggling with having patience with them, I want to shake them and tell them how blessed they are and if they'd only focus on the Lord their cup would overflow. What is crazy about that is I was just there last year. I was not joyful my freshman year of college. I allowed the struggles of a changing life get me down. I know what it is like so I should be able to have patience because I can relate, right? I don't know what it is. Perhaps I need to knock down some walls of pride.

Let's learn to celebrate together. :) I think it will take some a community effort.

Realizations of a Nerd

So in high school school, I always thought that the girls who had all the guys adore them must really enjoy it. Maybe it's uber cliche, but I just thought that the popular girls had lots of fun? I don't know. haha Anyway, needless to say, I was not one of those girls. Frizzy hair to start out my high school career, but even once I got it under control I was busy doing well in school and learning more about what it really means to be a christian.

Now that I am in college, I have a few guys that follow me around. Not to say I have ton, maybe all the nerds like me just got bolder so now their voicing their feelings. haha Who knows. Now that I have a few young men interested though, I've come to a new conclusion: I don't like it and it's not fun. Why you ask? Because the majority of them end up hating me when I don't return their "love". Why can't we just be friends?!?! haha I know it's a tad silly but this is me venting over just wanting to be friends with the few boys who want more.

Alright, now that I've broken the long silence of no blogging with my mellow dramatic problem... maybe sometime soon I can come and blog about something meaningful.

peace.

How To Be Alone

Parting ways with artwork

I just gave away a piece of artwork I did in high school that I am quite attached to. It's ok though. I offered it up. I'm teaching myself a new lesson. There are better things to come. I have to stay focused on what is ahead. What I have done is great and represents milestones. This particular piece won't be able to be shown in my senior art show when I graduate college (for multiple reasons). I am a much better artist now than I was then, I am capable of a good deal more.

Art is meant to be enjoyed. Loved. Critiqued. That doesn't happen when it is sitting in my closet. The friend I gave it to, I know will respect it and show it off. She may even love it more than I do. It's all for the better. :)

The Weepies :)

Something I need to hear

Breathe.
Slow down.
Trust.
Don't rush.
Patience.
Let go.
Adventure.
Love.
Life.

He loves me and He's in control. All that matters is Him... despite what others do or say. I was made for relationship, relationship with the El Shaddai. Don't be afraid to let him be your all, there is nothing better.



"She is the crescendo, the final astonishing work of God. Woman. In one least flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve. She is the Master’s finishing touch… His piece de resistance. She fills a place in the world nothing and no one else can fill… (Ladies) Look out across the earth and say to yourselves, “The whole, vast world is incomplete without me. Creation reached its zenith in me.”

And she, too, bears the image of God but in a way that only the feminine can speak. What can we learn from her? God wanted to reveal something about Himself, so he gave us Eve… Eve is created because things were not right without her. Something was not good. …Something is missing? What could it possibly be? Eve. Woman. Femininity. Wow. Talk about significance."
- from Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge