New fear

Satan has afflicted me with a new fear over the past few months. There aren't very many things I'm seriously afraid of.
I trust the Lord, there is nothing to fear but Him. Even then, love triumphs fear.

I might be scarred of pain sometimes, physical or emotional, but He always brings me through. It also tends to make me stronger or teach me something. Worry will sometimes get the best of me, but when I slow down, I know He is in control and it'll be alright. I've even overcome the fear of loneliness. While it's can sometimes seem overpowering, all I need is Him and He'll fill me.

This though... this seems different. I have no control over this and to some extent, neither does the Lord. It is in the freewill of another. It has everything to do with me and could completely change and damage something very precious and amazing. I pray fervently.

our skewed vision

my friend payton wrote this on his blog a little over a week ago. I like it. a lot. so I thought I'd give him a re-post. :)

And here is a link to his blog.

a few years ago, i had a late night conversation with one of my friends about temptations and the disputes that we have with one another. she mentioned to me that “far too often, we focus on what we don’t agree with rather than what we do believe.” i find it very interesting the things that we put our focus on. in a recent study with friends we talked about the temptations that we face. another one of my friends mentioned that “sometimes we are so concerned about not committing a particular sin that we are still in its’ grasp because we still focus on it rather than what we should be doing instead.”

these two things have been on my mind lately. disputes we have with one another and the battle that we have within ourselves.

faith and belief are constantly being tried and shaped within each and every one of us. what do you believe? what do you stand for? who are you? all of these questions we may face in different ways on a regular basis. it is interesting to watch churches, i’ve become excited to observe different settings and how they deal with their conflict. in a particular situation, a church was divided because of a ‘business issue’ that in turn pulled their spirituality apart. small matters that had been dealt with for years became separating topics. we have so many different denominations that exist, different ways to worship, different flavors even, but why do we focus so often and put so much stock in earthly matters rather than eternal ones and allow those to separate us? it is important to believe particular things and stand by them, but it intrigues me how simple god is in the bible sometimes. love your god, love your neighbor. the greatest of these is love. do we get caught up in disputes and petty arguments that rip our relationships and churches apart from the inside out?

there is a raging battle inside us all. we all struggle. we are all imperfect, but the way that we deal with our sin and temptations is defining of our lives. my friend mentioned that we get caught up in trying to avoid our sin that we don’t focus on good things. i’m too busy worrying about lying to pick up my bible. i’m too ashamed of the movies that i watch to pray to god and ask for his guidance. i am convinced that satan plants such lies within us and devours our self-worth more than we even know. there is something incredible though, god’s love prevails over satan every single time, time and time again. nothing can separate us from the love of god. (romans 8:38-39) how incredible is that news! i am a mess up, a sinner continually trying to dig myself out of this mud pit, but god still wants to be in relationship with me. he wants to rescue me, always. we have to ask him to. i believe that god has the power and ability to intervene in any situation that he wants, but we are called to be in relationship with him.

we have to acknowledge that satan has skewed our vision. once we acknowledge that, we can equip ourselves to combat him and depend on god to be our guide through all the trials and struggles that we face. i didn’t say that it would always be easy, but with personal experience recently, i know that something has to change in me.

someone i truly respect said recently that he asks himself two questions each morning: who am i? and where am i going today? we have to quit defining ourselves by our past, by the mud that satan throws at us. we are creation of the most high king who loves us dearly and longs for us to be with him. i don’t know what you need most, maybe it’s scriptures written all over your wall, your phone, your car, your house. maybe you need someone to be dependent with and walk with god alongside, an accountable person you can trust and confide in. we have to quit buying into the lies that satan uses. don’t give up, don’t believe that god doesn’t love you anymore, don’t believe that god won’t use you in incredible ways for his kingdom. we have to get on our feet and finally live for our god in all that we do.

“since, then, you have been raised with christ, set your hearts on things above where christ is, seated at the right hand of god. set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. for you died, and your life is now hidden with christ in god. when christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” - colossians 3:1-4